The 5 Stages of Grief and How Positive Psychology Views Grief

The 5 Stages of Grief: Understanding Loss

Grief is an emotional response to loss, and it’s a process that can involve various feelings. The concept of the 5 stages of grief was first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross about 50 years ago. These stages are Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

The 5 stages don’t follow a strict order and can overlap. They represent common emotional responses but aren’t the only way people experience grief. Here’s a closer look at each stage:

1. Denial and Isolation

Denial is our mind’s first reaction to overwhelming loss. It’s a defense mechanism where we refuse to accept the reality of the situation. We may also isolate ourselves to avoid facing the pain or receiving support from others.

2. Anger

Once denial fades, the next emotion that often emerges is anger. This stage may bring feelings of injustice, frustration, and helplessness, causing people to direct their anger at others, themselves, or even the situation.

3. Bargaining

In the bargaining stage, people may attempt to regain control by thinking about what could have been done differently. It’s common to reflect on "what if" scenarios, trying to make sense of the loss and imagining how it might have been prevented.

4. Depression

Depression is often the most intense emotional stage of grief. In this stage, we feel the full weight of the loss, leading to sadness, despair, and withdrawal. It’s important to note that this depression is different from clinical depression, though they share similar feelings.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance comes when we can acknowledge the reality of the loss and find a way to move forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we are no longer grieving, but rather, we learn to live with the loss and adapt to a new normal.

6. The Sixth Stage of Grief: Finding Meaning

In 2019, David Kessler, a co-author with Kübler-Ross, introduced a sixth stage of grief—Finding Meaning. This stage encourages the bereaved to go beyond acceptance and find purpose or meaning after their loss. This can be a source of healing and growth for those experiencing grief.

Positive Psychology’s Perspective on Grief

While traditional psychology often focuses on managing the pain of grief, positive psychology offers a different perspective by helping people find strength, growth, and resilience in the face of loss. Grief can be a catalyst for post-traumatic growth, where individuals emerge stronger, more compassionate, and with a renewed sense of purpose.

Here’s how positive psychology can help us navigate grief:

• Building Resilience: Positive psychology promotes practices that help build emotional resilience, such as mindfulness, gratitude, and social connections. These practices support individuals in managing their grief in healthier ways.
• Meaning Making: As Kessler’s sixth stage suggests, finding meaning in the loss can provide comfort. Positive psychology emphasizes that discovering purpose in adversity can lead to personal growth and transformation.
• Growth Mindset: By fostering a growth mindset, positive psychology helps individuals view grief as an opportunity for learning and emotional development. It’s about acknowledging the pain while seeking paths to healing and growth.

How to Apply Positive Psychology During Grief

While grieving, it can be helpful to integrate positive psychology techniques to support emotional well-being:

• Practice Mindfulness: Be present with your emotions, even the painful ones. Mindfulness helps create space to feel without judgment.
• Engage in Gratitude: While grief may feel all-encompassing, practicing gratitude for small moments can help shift perspective and foster resilience.
• Lean on Your Support Network: Grief can feel isolating, but staying connected with others can help you feel supported. Talk to friends, family, or professionals who can help you process your emotions.

Conclusion: Grief and Positive Psychology

Grief is an inevitable part of life, and the 5 stages of grief provide a framework for understanding it. However, grief is not a one-size-fits-all process, and positive psychology reminds us that even in the depths of grief, there is potential for growth, resilience, and meaning-making. By embracing these concepts, we can move through grief in a way that honors our pain while fostering healing and hope.